as I tweeted in frustration late last night, I’ve been having troubles sleeping lately.
This happens sometimes - bouts of insomnia - that usually correspond to my mind working overtime behind the scenes to process something (aside: I often think, and talk about my subconscious in the third-person, as if it is someone else. I’ve never thought about it too much, but is that odd?
Do you think of your subconscious as a quasi-autonomous entity or fully integrated into you?) (aside #2: Why do porn-stars often refer to their genitalia in the third-person?
To achieve the mental separation for good mental health?).
However, this is different - I’m actually very tired and trying to sleep.
But there’s 2 things stopping me that I’ve only just noticed how important they are.
One, I’m sick with a cold and thus have various breathing issues.
Had Leah not been working night shifts this weekend, I’m sure either she would have slept in the spare room or I would have been banished, because I’m sure I’m snoring up a storm.
But, that comes and goes, and my sleeplessness has been longer than this weekend.
The day after boxing day, I fell while snowboarding. I initially thought I had maybe cracked a rib, as each breach hurt so much.
But once I calmed down, I realized I’d just hurt my ribs badly on the left side - likely something muscular, as any rotation or stretching causes a sharp pain just to the left of my heart.
More or less manageable , except for one thing: I, by preference, sleep on my left side, arm stretched out under my head like a pillow.
So, you know, fully extending those muscles on the left side of my torso.
Which really hurts.
So I can’t do that right now.
Which means I’m trying to sleep on my right side - which is doable, but feels odd, so takes longer.
But! because I clearly have muscle memory, I apparently keep rolling over onto my left in my sleep.
Which sends a stab of pain on my left side when I do so.
Which wakes me up.
And starts the whole process over again.
Today is the first day that I can lift my left arm to shoulder height with what I’ll call “manageable” pain, so hopefully I’m starting to heal.
But in the interim, I’m feeling desperately short on sleep.